Family finance writer Sarah Deveau offers advice on giving and attending a baby shower.
A baby is an incredible gift – and oddly enough, this precious bundle of joy will also inspire people to bombard you with gifts. Friends, family, coworkers, and friends of those people will be driven to purchase the most adorable little outfits and accessories, and many of the gifts will be presented at your baby shower.
Baby showers are traditionally held only for the first child, as a way to help defray the initial costs of having a baby. Too often though, a mom-to-be will find she’s received nine six-month sleepers (when three will do), seasonal outfits that the child won’t fit during the right season, or a dozen collectible figurines. Instead of dealing with the hassle of returning the items, or worse, being caught re-gifting them, why not offer your guests some direction? Done tactfully, attendees will appreciate knowing they’ve given you something you really need.
Work with the person hosting the party to select a gift theme, and include it on the invitations. If asked, be sure to let guests know that they don’t have to stick to the theme if they have another gift in mind. A possible theme includes Books & Bottoms, where guests bring a bag of diapers and a book they loved as a child, or one their child favoured. Specify which brand of diapers you’ll be using if you have a favourite. How about a Feeding Family theme? Everyone brings a homemade meal ready for the freezer (with the recipe and reheating instructions on a card) to save mom’s sanity after baby arrives. Having twins? A Noah’s Ark theme is in order– everyone brings two of something. Remember that cash is not a theme. It is never okay to request cash – it robs the fun from the event and makes you look greedy. If you’re saving up for a specific item, friends can spread the word that cash would be appreciated if the giver so desires.
Whether you’re the mom-to-be, the host, or a guest, there are certain rules of etiquette to be aware of. Traditionally, only non-relatives hosted a baby shower, but this has gone the way of the dinosaur. These days, anyone can host a shower, especially close loved ones, like mothers and sisters. Showers are normally held a month or two before baby arrives, but some people consider this bad luck, and prefer to hold the shower after the baby is born. It’s up to the mom-to-be and the hostess to decide. Many people hold showers only for the first baby, but this is another rule that’s changing with the times. It’s not uncommon to have a shower for the second child, especially if the second child is a different gender than the first.
Finally, the new mom should send personal thank you cards for every gift received, and thank the hostess with a small gift.
Sarah Deveau writes family finance columns for the Calgary Herald's Neighbours section. If you're interested in being interviewed for a future column, send her an email at sarah@sarahdeveau.com.
